Seven Sharp presenter Hilary Barry meets the inimitable Miriam Margolyes — the actor, comedian and British-Australian national treasure who likes to shock.
"What's this about Harry Potter? F*****g well grow up!"
Margolyes was in full flight while recording a video message for our cameraman's mate, who was a huge Harry Potter fan.
Those watching on were practically wetting ourselves but — even later on, as we sat down to chat with the woman who played Professor Sprout in the Potter movies — Margolyes remained unrepentant.
"I worry about Harry Potter fans because they should be over that by now. I mean, it was 25 years ago, and it's for children. I think it's for children," she said.
"But they get stuck in it. I do cameos and people say we're having a Harry Potter-themed wedding, and I think what's their first night of fun going to be? I can't even think about it. No, Harry Potter is wonderful. I'm very grateful, but it's over. That's what I think."
Margolyes will happily admit she loves to shock. If you've seen her as a guest on Graham Norton's couch, you'll probably have witnessed it yourself.
'I've always been naughty'
She famously told off Will.i.am for his repeated and ungrammatical use of the word "like". To Matthew Perry, she said she'd never seen an episode of Friends because she once met one of the show's creators and immediately disliked her.
Then there were the multiple times she talked about pleasuring people (both men and women), a shocking story about the time she met actor and director Laurence Olivier, and weaving profanities into primetime like ticking items off a grocery list.
"I've always been naughty," Margolyes confessed.
"I just didn't do it on television, and nobody knew about it, and then when I got invited onto Graham Norton and chat shows and things like that. I just went on being the things I've always been. I don't think I'm going to stop now because it's fun.
"I like shocking people. I like it when people recoil with distaste and a look of revulsion. I enjoy that," she said.
Margolyes is in New Zealand for a couple of projects. At the age of 82, she's busier with work than she's ever been. Oh, and richer, too, she'll have you know, and more famous.
She's the voice of BadJelly the Witch in the soon-to-be-released animated series of the Spike Milligan story which is being made in New Zealand by Mukpuddy Animation in a joint production with studios in Canada and the UK.
I tried my best to goad her into one of the witch's famous lines, "stinky poo, stinky poo, knickers, knickers, knickers" but she's not having a bar of it.
"No. I'm not allowed to. I'm not allowed to. Stop it!"
I continued to plead.
"No, I'm afraid I can't."
It was a rare moment of restraint in an otherwise uncensored conversation — certainly not the sort of restraint that's ever evident on The Graham Norton Show.
'I get a bit of a thrill'
I put it to her that the producers of his show sometimes invite her along because they think their lineup's a bit boring and they know she'll add some spice.
"I think they might. I think it's true that they notice that I ginger things up a bit but I don't want to do that. I don't do it deliberately to be talked about, I just get fun out of it. I get a bit of a thrill."
Other big projects this year include a new book, Oh Miriam!, which is the basis for a show she's touring in Australia and New Zealand.
The title is an exclamation that many people have uttered during her life, she explained. She mimics the different versions of Oh, Miriam! she's heard over the years and I ask her who said it the most.
"Oh, teachers at school, and sometimes girls I pleasured," she said as we both exploded into giggles.
At various intervals during our half-hour together there was the feeling that things could suddenly end up in similarly saucy territory.
At one point, she told me about what she'll need her caregivers to do for her when she's no longer able to — she wisely counselled me not to continue that line of questioning.
The interview was over, and Margolyes was off to meet friends for lunch next. They're Kiwi filmmakers. She's going to be in their next film.
I asked where she was going.
Soul.
"Oh that's swanky," I said, "it's down on the waterfront."
"Well, I shan't be ordering anything fancy. They're all freelancers. They haven't got any money."
She said this without a hint of humour and it was clear that she meant it. She might be richer than she's ever been but she's not one to act like a diva.
Margolyes was Ubering down there from TVNZ so I walked her and her publicist out.
She wasn't actually walking, she was in a wheelchair. She's got back issues and it's just a bit easier to get around in the chair. We were still chatting while the publicist and Uber driver loaded the chair into the boot.
"I'm going to let out an enormous fart," Miriam exclaimed.
She did, and it was enormous.
Oh, Miriam!
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