You know a movie is too long when your flatmate falls asleep, and a couple walks out of the cinema before it’s even finished, writes Re: News journalist Zoe Madden-Smith.
Especially with the price of movie tickets these days - the walkout is a bold statement. But I get it. Mentally, I’ve left too.
I went and saw Dune 2 last week and don’t get me wrong, it’s a stunning movie. The way it’s shot and the incredible locations are enough of a reason to go and see it.
But f**k, it was long.
I want to preface this rant by making it clear I am no film buff. I’m not out here critically analysing the plot or cinematography of movies.
All I want is to go to the cinema, be entertained and not feel like I’m desperately trying to keep my eyes open waiting for it to finally finish.
But more and more I feel like this is happening. And I swear it’s not my attention span to blame. Movies are just getting way too long.
Dune 2 is two hours and 46 minutes. Oppenheimer (don’t even get me started on Oppenheimer) is three hours long. The latest Hunger Games is two hours and 38 minutes.
These movies had me intrigued for a while.
But eventually - probably somewhere around the two-hour mark - the plot, the costumes and the music feel like a waste because I’m just wondering when it’s all going to end.
If it was up to me all movies would be 90 minutes long - or two hours if you really thought that extra half hour would change the world. But at the moment it feels like two hours is the minimum, and three hours is the new goal.
Honestly, I think it’s an egotistical and cocky trend. It feels like directors are breaking the mould for no good reason, just to prove they can.
When you finish a movie in a cinema, the first thing you should do is think, "f**k that was good". And then you have your main character moment as you walk out of the cinema, feeling like you have a brand new personality or outlook on life.
But these days, the first thing I see when I look over is my friend yawning, blinking the tears away from her eyes with a dazed look on her face.
The first thing that comes out of our mouths isn’t a profound comment about what the film says about society, or trying to quote the best line, it’s "oh my god, that was so long".
And then we stumble out of the theatre and try to remember where we parked the car.
Enough is enough.
If you want your movie to be remembered for its plot, and not its run time, then you’ve got to rein it in people.
Anyway, I’ll leave it there and hope the world’s biggest directors are subscribed to Re: News’ newsletter and we see some change soon.
This story has been excerpted from The Review, Re: News' weekly newsletter
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