A psychologist is warning couples to watch out for signs of "weaponised incompetence" in their relationships, which could lead them to feeling "burnt out and resentful" about their partner.
Australian Association of Psychologists director Carly Dober told Breakfast weaponised incompetence is a non-clinical term that has gained traction over the past decade and can occur in the workplace or the home.
She said it occurs when someone "consciously or unconsciously feigns incompetence [to] get out of doing a certain task, or doing responsibilities so they allow someone to step in and do it for them".
"It's not always intentional, it's not always harmful."
Dober gave the example of someone who may not have been taught to clean or cook before and are genuinely anxious about performing these tasks.
"But, on the other end of the spectrum it definitely is about getting your own way, power and control, and in some cases, manipulation."
She said the idea was first identified in workplaces where men would defer to women for tasks such as cleaning, organising birthday parties and doing office admin tasks, including asking women to make coffees.
"In the home, it's when men might not cook, or might not engage in grocery shopping. They might not engage in child-rearing or child-minding activities."
Dober said it is important to identify these patterns of behaviour and address them with your loved ones, before it unnecessarily harms the relationship beyond repair.
"It can lead to things like resentment in the relationship, which can really spoil it and end it prematurely."
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