"I failed them."
Those are the words of Lauren Dickason after receiving a sentence of 18 years imprisonment for the murder of her three young daughters.
The murder-convicted mother will be detained in a mental health hospital until medical authorities decide she's capable of managing in a prison setting.
Justice Cameron Mander did not impose a minimum non-parole period.
Her defence counsel released a statement on her behalf following her sentencing at the High Court in Christchurch today.
"I loved Liané, Maya and Karla with all my heart. I failed them, I failed Graham, and I failed our families," it reads.
"I take responsibility for taking our three beautiful girls from this world."
In September 2021, just days after the family came out of managed isolation to start their new life in Timaru, Lauren Dickason killed six-year-old Liané and two-year-old twins Karla and Maya while her husband was out.
In court this morning a statement from one of Graham Dickason's sisters was read as one of seven victim impact statements.
In it, she said, “it would be nice to hear Lauren apologise for her actions".
Dickason's newly released statement said, "I would like to take this opportunity to convey the deepest and most sincere remorse for the extreme pain and hurt caused to my children and my family by my actions".
"No apology will ever be enough, and words will seem hollow to many. I want people to know our girls brought me so much joy and were the centre of my world. I am horrified by my actions, and the pain, distress and trauma I have caused everyone who loved them. Like many others, I miss them every single day."
Justice Mander today found Dickason remains mentally disordered, and that her impairment requires compulsory treatment.
Medical experts found a prison environment wouldn't be appropriate for her at this stage, considering her state of mind and suicide risk.
Dickason said "I owe it to everyone and myself to get mentally healthier. I will do whatever it takes, although I know that will never change the past."
Last year her lawyers argued she wasn't guilty of murder, using the defences of insanity and infanticide.
Their case was that she killed her daughters out of love.
Defence lawyer Kerryn Beaton told the jury: "This is the very kind of case that the law of infanticide was designed for."
But the Crown's case was that the deaths were caused by Dickason’s anger and a loss of control.
Prosecution lawyers argued that any disturbance of her mind as a result of childbirth "was long gone", and the explanation of the "altruistic motive" only arose after treatment at Hillmorton Hospital a month after the killings.
After the guilty verdicts, Lauren Dickason's parents, who sat through every day of her trial released this statement: "This was not our daughter, but a debilitating mental illness which resulted in an awful tragedy, the details of which you are by now well aware.
Lauren herself has now said, "my family and I want people to know about the risks, warning signs and extreme impacts of post-partum depression".
"We urge other families to look for and act on unhealthy signs. We urge women experiencing the symptoms of post-partum depression to tell the ones they love. This pain and heartbreak cannot happen to any other families."
She concluded her statement with a word of thanks to those who've shown support to her and her family, during their "darkest despair".
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