Those massive life goals that feel too big to tackle? Take them one bite at a time, writes Frances Cook
Next time you’re at the dentist, or dragged to one of those corporate team building things, you might see this phrase: “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”
I’ve never been one for elephant jerky, personally, but the idea behind it is spot on.
Our biggest, most exciting goals, often come with a side order of panic. That’s particularly the case for money goals.
Retiring early. Retiring at all. Learning how to invest. Sorting out your KiwiSaver. Buying a house. These moves might need a huge amount of money, or for you to commit to a plan that stretches for years, or even decades.
So after that initial sparkle of excitement, where you picture what that goal could do for your life, the reality of what it will take tends to come rushing in. At that point, the natural response is to get overwhelmed, throw your hands in the air, and decide it’s all too hard.
Retire early? Cool in theory. But then you start thinking about how much you’d need to save, and how long that would take, and how many brunches you’d have to skip, and suddenly, it’s easier to just keep your head down and go back to work.
Buy a house? Excellent goal. Until you realise the deposit alone might take you five years. And that’s before you figure out interest rates, banks, or what LVR actually means.
Even something as simple as “get better with money” can fall flat, because it’s not clear what that actually looks like. How do you know if you’re making progress? How do you stay motivated when the results are slow, or invisible?
The answer comes back to elephant bites. Big goals are great. But they’re also dangerous. Big goals are emotionally powerful. They fire us up, give us direction, and make us feel like we’re building something worthwhile.
But they also ask a lot from us. They ask us to believe in a version of the future we can’t see yet. They ask us to stay focused when there’s no obvious reward in the short term.
Sometimes they ask us to keep going, even when progress feels microscopic.
Give yourself dopamine hits
This one isn’t really a discipline issue. It’s a psychology issue. Our brains are wired for short-term rewards.
We get a little dopamine hit when we tick something off a to-do list, see money land in the account, or finally reach the bottom of the laundry basket. (I know you know how good that last one feels.)
Long-term goals don’t give us that hit. They just hang out in the distance, looking smug and unattainable.
So if you want to actually achieve a long-term goal? You have to trick your brain a little. You have to find ways to turn that far-off destination into something tangible, satisfying, and now. Which is where the milestones come in. Turn your mountain into molehills.
Let’s say you want to pay off your mortgage early. That’s a level of money win that could completely change your day-to-day life. You get more financial freedom, more breathing room, and way more options. But depending on how big your loan is, even early repayment can take years.
So instead of staring at the full number and feeling your soul leave your body, you break it down. Can you increase your payments by $50 a week? Great. Do the maths, figure out how many months that knocks off your loan, and make that the goal.
Then create check-ins. Stuck with it for three months? Time for lunch out to celebrate. Another three months of repayments? Get yourself that fancy bottle of wine you can never justify, and celebrate how well you’re doing.
Because you’re not just making a slightly higher payment. You’re winning back years of your life.
Want to save for a house deposit? Set mini targets. Celebrate when you hit $5k. Treat yourself (within reason) when you hit $10k.
Automate your savings, set up a progress tracker, and cheer yourself on like it’s a video game.
Even with KiwiSaver, which can feel painfully slow, you can set checkpoints. Have you contributed enough this year to get the government match? Tick. Have you checked you’ve chosen the right fund for your goals? Tick (and reward).
Progress is progress — even if you’re not at the summit yet.
Choose milestones that are right for you
There’s a reason I picked the mortgage example. I’m currently very focused on smashing my own, right out of existence.
I’ve already given myself some of the motivation, by imagining exactly what it would mean to me for it to be gone. Lower stress. A huge bill, gone, reducing the amount I need to earn. That lower financial stress creating greater time freedom.
It’s all great stuff.
But one more trick that worked surprisingly well, was breaking the extra repayment into a weekly repayment, rather than a monthly one.
It’s the exact same amount of money, overall. But for some reason, the weekly amount feels smaller, and more achievable.
And because I’m a child who likes rewards, I get a little treat on a monthly basis, just for sticking with it.
Hey, know thyself. I like treats. Sue me. As long as it keeps me on track!
More regular check-ins have given me more momentum. It made zero mathematical difference. But psychologically? A big boost.
That’s the trick with milestones. They don’t have to be perfect, they just have to work for you.
Some people love visual trackers. Others want a spreadsheet with targets. Others still want to check in every few months and reflect, ideally with a wine or packet of chocolate biscuits.
Whatever keeps you going, use it. Even if it feels silly.
The real enemy is often losing motivation, not dollars. I’ve seen so many people give up on financial goals, and it wasn’t because they didn’t care or weren’t smart enough.
It was because they got tired. Tired of trying without seeing results. Tired of putting in the work while everyone else seemed to be having more fun. Tired of feeling like it wasn’t making a difference.
Milestones give you proof, that you’re actually making progress, and can keep going. They keep the fire burning, even when the overall finish line is still far away.
Start small. But start now.
If you’ve got a big goal in your head, whatever it is, you need to make sure the size of it doesn’t stop you before you start.
Pick one small step. One bite. Break it down into something you can see, feel, and track. And then do it again. And again.
Because that’s how you build a future. That’s how you eat the elephant.
One delicious, slightly odd, bite at a time.
The information in this artlcle is general in nature and should not be taken as personalised financial advice.
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